I suspect the goal of this exercise is to help people understand that their beliefs may be wrong. And if they are, can you realize that and change?
Can verifiable facts sway you in the face of your own deeply held views?
Trust me. Been there, done that. Open to doing it again if necessary. Not saying I’m perfect. Just saying, I have realized I was wrong and let go of deeply held beliefs when I realized the facts contradicted them.
Looking for a new job trigger thoughts like . . .
Self-doubt
Discussions about buying a new home or moving triggers thoughts like . . .
Inadequacy
Working extra hours, work interrupting personal time, on-call schedules, working on little sleep triggers thoughts like . . .
Nobody appreciates the work I do. And nobody cares how hard I work. And if the employer notices how hard I work, then they claim that’s only a sign that I’m inefficient.
I hate being stuck here. But I need this job to pay my bills.
I can’t summon the energy to do what I need to leave this place. I’m so burnt out.
Defeat, trapped, victimized, neglected, and abused
When my employer insinuates our work levels are inadequate, this triggers thoughts like . . .
How can they not see how hard we work?!
This is an unfair work arrangement
Insulted, angry, and unappreciated
Trying to figure out what to do next with my life triggers thoughts like . . .
Fear
Preparing to do my upper body workouts triggers thoughts like . . .
I miss my mom. (This is the activity I was doing when I got the news that she died.)
I should have called her before starting my workout. Maybe I could have talked to her one last time.
Sadness, grief, guilt, and regret
On Personality tests, I usually score as an INFJ. So, emotional empathy is a big deal for me. One of my top five Strengths Finder attributes is Harmony. That lines up with my drive for putting others first and desiring to be helpful to others even at my own expense.
So, suffering (maybe not all out suffering . . . perhaps sacrificing) on the behalf of someone else is my default tendency. That supports my drive to help others.
Does it help me? I feel like it does sometimes. I feel good from helping others and I see how it has a positive impact on my reputation. I see how others treat me in return.
I must admit though, I can expose myself to toxic people and situations and suffer in vain.
So the best kind of compassion is where everyone involved (including myself) gets a satisfactory level of fulfillment. And I must make sure my desire to help doesn’t prevent someone else’s growth. Just as important, I shouldn’t tolerate discomfort for myself or my family to help out someone else.
I acknowledge I need work in this area. My compassion is a personality feature and strength. And it’s also a potential curse as well. It may contribute to why I have tolerated my difficult work circumstances for so long.
Normal Mode
Hard Mode
Nightmare Mode
I play on Nightmare Mode too often. Sometimes several days out of the week or over the weekend.
This Exercise is related to:
Find better, more meaningful work. Know my vocation or calling (if there is such a thing). Have clarity on what to do next with my life.
Better Health (weight, fat percentage)
Financial Independence
Secure a way to leave the U. S. should it become necessary.
The ability to give my wife and children more of what they need emotionally.
I noticed that most desires that leave me wanting more or feel fleeting are decoupled from my inner Well-being. Like food cravings or some other similar pleasure or impulse.
Maybe the way to tell the difference between a worthy desire and a fleeting one is how much it impacts my well-being.
Food for thought.