My Mindsight Exercise 11
On Personality tests, I usually score as an INFJ. So, emotional empathy is a big deal for me. One of my top five Strengths Finder attributes is Harmony. That lines up with my drive for putting others first and desiring to be helpful to others even at my own expense.
So, suffering (maybe not all out suffering . . . perhaps sacrificing) on the behalf of someone else is my default tendency. That supports my drive to help others.
Does it help me? I feel like it does sometimes. I feel good from helping others and I see how it has a positive impact on my reputation. I see how others treat me in return.
I must admit though, I can expose myself to toxic people and situations and suffer in vain.
So the best kind of compassion is where everyone involved (including myself) gets a satisfactory level of fulfillment. And I must make sure my desire to help doesn’t prevent someone else’s growth. Just as important, I shouldn’t tolerate discomfort for myself or my family to help out someone else.
I acknowledge I need work in this area. My compassion is a personality feature and strength. And it’s also a potential curse as well. It may contribute to why I have tolerated my difficult work circumstances for so long.